Want to go on a trip? Part Two

Someone has actually asked me to go on a trip. But, I’m a little hesitant…

You see, I don’t know where we’re going. The person explained that the whole idea of this journey is surprise – in other words, I’ll know where we are when we get there; I’ll know what we’re going to do when we’re doing it.

In my earlier post, I talked about traveling with someone who you really want to be with, someone you enjoyed spending time with even if you were just sitting quietly together, someone who you trusted with your deepest, darkest secrets. So, I guess that’s what this journey boils down to – do I trust this person enough to just go?

I’ve known this person practically my whole life; you could say we grew up together, although there is an age difference. My friend knows all about me, the good, the bad, the ugly and everything that I want to forget. As a matter of fact, my friend has a lot of experience with people and hasn’t led anyone astray.

So, why don’t I trust? I love this person. I want to spend more time together. I would love to go on a mystery trip.

What’s holding me back? It’s not the money. It’s not responsibilities. My husband thinks it’s a wonderful idea. Hmm, maybe there is one thing. I would have no control. All control would be in the hands of my friend.

And, there’s the snag. Am I willing to relinquish control to a trusted friend, to someone who loves me no matter what, to an ally who always has my best interests at heart, to a companion who has never led me astray? Seems kind of silly when I lay it out like that, doesn’t it!

Actually, there is someone who invites all of us on a journey – a journey planned specially for each of us, tailored to our individual personalities. It’s a journey planned for us before we were born, by the person who formed us, our Creator.

A pre-planned journey. An itinerary tailored especially for you. A trusted Guide and Friend who knows what is best for you. A Companion who loves surprising those He loves with gifts of beauty and joy and more.

I’ve decided. I’m going to continue on this exciting and amazing trip!

Let’s journey together.

© 2011 Denise Budd Rumble

Road Trip Tales – Part Three

We had a comfortable night in the hotel – after finally finding one! Who would have thought we’d have trouble finding a room in Belleville, in the middle of the week!

We had a leisurely breakfast before we loaded into the car. A stop at a country craft and bake shop for goodies and baked goods and we were on our way to Aunty K. This time we took the major highway. Time for gawking about was over. It was time to just get there. It had been a year since our last visit.

Aunty K.’s face lit up when she saw us. “What a nice surprise. What are you doing here?”

She sat in her wheelchair, one side immobile. Her hair looked like it could use a good wash and a set. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

“Aunty K. How are you doing? You look good.”

And she did. She was a sight for sore eyes.  Even with one arm she gave good hugs and her eyes twinkled.

We sat and chatted for a little while. Mum had eaten the last part of her sandwich in the car. “Of course it’s all right.” So Karen and I decided to go out for some lunch promising to bring back cups of tea to have with our dessert. We thought that the two friends might want to have some time for themselves.

Joining them after lunch we laughed until we almost cried, tears of joy and sadness blending, as we reminisced, drank our lukewarm tea from take-out cardboard cups and ate chocolate éclairs – freshly baked. We talked about cheeky mosquitoes in the church, baking pies in the cottage woodstove in 80F degree heat, and more. Memories of a time past, when Mum and Aunty K. got up early in the mornings to start the laundry, make breakfast, usher their children off to school. A time when they walked to… wherever, whenever they felt like it. They made their own cups of tea with boiling water in china teapots. We children feasted on the results of their hard work and love – roast beef with Yorkshire pudding and gravy, apple dumplings, skinny pancakes, ginger snaps and chocolate cake. A time when age was just a word.

Mum told Aunty K. about her new walker.

“That’s what I’ll need next,” Aunty K. informed us. “Today I stood up – first time since my stroke. I can hardly wait to get in my own apartment with my own furniture again.”

We agreed that would, indeed, be wonderful. And, yes, Mum could come to visit, stay a week, or more!

A helper came to wheel Aunty K. to the dining room for supper. It was time for us to go.

“We’ll come again. Shall we bring chocolate éclairs, or would you like something different next time.” “Not sure when we’ll get back…” “Yes, it’s been really lovely visiting with you…”

Amidst kisses and hugs we “walked” with her to the dining room. “Enjoy your supper!” “Good bye!” “See you soon!” “Take care!”

I looked over at Karen. We both swallowed harder. It was difficult to come, to psych ourselves up for the reality of “now”, but it was more difficult to say goodbye.

Mum broke the silence as we walked to the car, “It was really nice to see her again. Thank you, girls, for bringing me. I really appreciate it.”

I swallowed hard, again. After all, how big a deal was it – really? Two days to do something for two people who had loved me well, and helped shape me into the person I am. Two people who would, and had, sacrificed for me and yet expected nothing in return.

“Everybody have their seatbelts on?” I asked. “Mum, are you comfortable back there? Sure you don’t want to sit in the front?”

“I’m fine. Did you say you had another book for me to read?”

“Two more, I think. Right in that red bag there. Yep, that’s it. Whew, it sure is hot in here. Mum, I’m going to have to turn the air conditioning on.”

“Sure, that’s fine.”

“And, there is a pillow and a blanket if you need one.”

Let’s journey together.

© Denise Budd Rumble 2009

Road trip!

We got the car’s air-conditioning fixed at the beginning of the summer for which I’m thankful because tomorrow – road trip!

My sister and I are taking our mum to visit a friend. They’ve known each other for over fifty years, since before we emigrated from England. Besides the fact that my sister and I also want to visit her, our mum can’t drive herself anymore and she needs some assistance when travelling, so it’s a road trip!

Just those two words conjure up feelings of anticipation and excitement. My mind goes into full-gear – what shall I wear? Hmm, the weather man says “clouds, with some sun and chance of rain”. I’ll need maps. We’ll pack a lunch to eat on the road. Where should we stop for supper?

When we were kids we went to said friend’s for many holidays – Christmas, Easter, summer. The husband was a minister and so church holidays were busy times for him, not so easy for them to come to visit us.

Preparations for our trips started days, if not weeks before. Mum would bake so we could contribute to the meals – cakes, pies, squares. I would have to go to the library and get some books to read – in the car and while we were there. It would be a chance for me to indulge in my favourite past-time. Then there were all the decisions about clothes and toys and if the car would make the journey there – and back!

Excitement would be at a fever pitch on our travel day. Dad and Mum would get up while it was still dark and pack the car. Dad would start up the car so it would be nice and warm for us. Mum would set up the back seat as a bed and Dad would carry us and place us, ever so gently, in the back seat bed, a mess of pyjamas, blankets, pillows and feet. Half an hour later the questions would begin, starting with “how long before we get there?” and continuing with “are we there yet”?

Aunty and Uncle and their two kids would give us a grand welcome when we arrived.

I loved doing dishes with Aunty – we had such great conversations. She always treated me as an “equal” and never “just a child”. Uncle was in and out with the irregularity of his position as minister to his flock and counsellor to every one else. He conducted the high school band. He could “hum” like a trumpet. And his eyes nearly always danced.

I remember bats in the belfry, smoke and fire in the chimney, cheesecake on the floor, the best raspberry pie ever and lumpy gravy, daily walks to the grocery store and good times at the rented summer cottage – puzzles and boat rides, sticky Chelsea buns and water skiing, new friends and old, sand between the toes, sun and rain, singing, laughing and playing, walks on the beach and rides in the car.

I loved spending time with them. It felt like home. They felt like family. We were loved well.

I’ll think of all these things tomorrow as I throw my overnight bag in the car and drive to pick up my sister and our mum. I’ll wipe away tears as I do now. I’ll remember what was as I help my mum down the stairs and answer her question “what day is it?” at least three times on the way to the car. We’ll try to be patient as she asks “how long will it take to get there?” and “how long are we staying?” and “when are we going home?” again and again.

My sister and I will smile at each other when she asks “are we there yet?” You see, we are sisters. We share these same memories – good memories, happy memories, the kind that stay with you, even when the people in the memories begin to fade, even when old age grasps them tight.

And you know what? I think I’ll put a pillow and blankets in my back seat – just for old time’s sake.

Let’s journey together.

©2009 Denise Budd Rumble

Conversations…

The Oxford Dictionary defines “conversation” as “an informal spoken exchange between two or more people”.

Most of us engage in conversation every day of our lives. We chat and yak, gossip and converse. We debate and parley, visit and talk. We hold gabfests and discussions.  We confabulate, dialogue and chitchat. We talk out of both sides of our mouths. And, some people never stop talking!

You would think with all the words we spew that there would be a lot of communication going on. But, is there? Do the words bounce around, like a pinball, after they leave our mouths? Or are they gratefully caught and examined? Do we carefully catch the precious words that come our way from those that love us? Do we listen and hear? Do we turn the words this way and that and get the real meaning sent to us via those sounds? Do I?

As a baby-boomer with years of exercising my ears I have no excuse. I should be a good listener.

Over the years I have heard the words of my mum and dad, brother and sister, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents and they have heard mine. Sunday school teachers, ministers, club leaders and schoolteachers have commanded my attention, my questions and my answers. Friend and foe have assaulted my ears and I theirs. And then there are those I’ve worked with, strangers I’ve conversed with and others who have eavesdropped or just happened to be within listening distance of my spiels.

I’ve spoken words of anger and frustration and softly uttered words of love, encouragement, hope and comfort to my spouse and children. Now grandchildren await my words.

There are conversations I would like to change; others I would like to delete. But, we have no chance to call back our words. We must live with what we’ve said.

So, what words will I speak today? What conversations will I participate in? And how will I treat the words that are flung at me?

Let’s journey together.

© 2008 Denise Budd Rumble

Sister's Day

It is fitting that my foray into blogging begins today.

Today, the first Sunday in August, is Sister’s Day.

Dictionary.com defines sister as “a female having the same parents as another”. This is certainly true of me as I do have siblings. But one of the other definitions defines all women in midlife, “a female fellow member of any group”.

Women in midlife are undoubtedly in a group of their own. Filled with many changes and challenges it is doubtful many of us choose to go through midlife, but journey through it we must. We are not a small group. Over 45 million women in North America are between the ages of 45 and 54.

We can take comfort in the fact that we are not going through this time in our lives alone, however, we are often reluctant to talk about the things that are bothering us. From hot flashes and fuzzy brain to children leaving for higher education and parents aging and declining before our eyes, changes in body, mind and soul keep us spinning.

We don’t have to do this alone, so let’s not. Come back often and visit me. I’ll put the kettle on and we’ll chat.

Let’s journey together.

© 2008 Denise Budd Rumble