There is a place of no time with no boundaries of space or place. It is a place where one can be young and old. New jobs and old, loved ones long gone from this earth and new friends – all mingle together in a cacophony of emotions and goings on.
It is a place where thinking and worrying and turning a problem over and over in one’s mind for days, sometimes weeks, brings about a concrete solution – a concrete “thing” – so that the worry passes and action ensues.
One can enjoy their children as young needing care, and as grown with spouses and children of their own. One can converse about the every day, the new job of a child or grandchild, the upcoming journey, the course of a school year, and about the present daily happenings of a parent long passed into glory.
There is no time continuum. There are no boundaries. Imagination becomes reality. There are no limits to the realization of our fondest dreams and longings.
This place is called “dementia brought on by small blood vessel disease.”
As the child I watch as my mother lives her days in a morphed combination of past and present. For now she is in a happy place and I pray it stays so.
She and I converse. “How are you doing?” she asks.
“I’m well, Mum. Busy with my job – but it’s good.”
“And your hubby – is he enjoying his semi-retirement? How about the children?”
And I wonder how old she thinks “the children” are, but she continues and asks if my youngest is finished university yet, and I realize that for this moment she is very much in the present and in tune with my reality.
She listens to my answers and then continues, “I talked to my Mam this morning. She was wondering when I’d be able to come home…”
And so in the exhale of a breath she is years and continents away, but every bit in her present and her reality as I am.
Let’s journey together.
© Denise Budd Rumble 2010